My first Heartaversary

Wednesday 23 January 2019

 So its almost here …and by the time my website and blog go “live” well I tell people about it and hope that they want to read!)

 It will be my first Heartaversary – let me explain… Its a term used by us “Hearties” – people affected by Heart problems…

It’s a recognition of the day our hearts stopped and by divine or medical intervention were started again

It’s a new start

It’s a special day

for me and many others, a day of celebration

I am celebrating on holiday in South Africa and with the launch of my blog, a place I can open up and hopefully help others.


So this time last year my diary entry read:

 Tuesday 23rdJanuary 2018

Phone call from Mr Barnards secretary to say keyhole for my vein removal not option as that person has a family crisis & can’t do. Well it was a bonus ball I didn’t even know existed so move on… Head a bit mashed. Amy & Oscar came. Lots + lots of lovely support texts Now I’m in bed waiting for what tomorrow will bring



Wednesday 24 January  day

 630am Slept well – that’s tranquillisers for you. Am now showered + waiting for Malcolm. Remarkable calm at the moment. But I know under it all I’m scared for me, Malcolm & the kids. Got to be positive.


The rest of the day didn’t exist….(I added this latter comment days and days later)

 There is so much more I remember about this time last year… so now is perhaps a time to pad out the diary entries a little.

 We had set off for the hospital mid afternoon. I had packed 2 bags…one for ICU – comfy knickers, soft front fastening bras, nighties and lovely toiletries, the other for CCU and the ward – leggings, shirts which opened down the front, nice PJ’s, Toms for physio, crochet, knitting, books, iPad with downloads, headphones, MacBook… I believed it would be better to get up in a morning and shower and get dressed (in my leggings and tops) sit out of bed and make myself busy – crochet, knit, read, do work!! I was also going to have little pamper sessions with my lovely toiletries….hmmmmm!!!

That evening we saw Jim Barnard (the surgeon), Jose ( the anaesthetist), the physio came( I had no idea why I needed to blow this little tube with a ball in and practice coughing??), nurses, forms to fill in, dinner, more forms. Callum (middle son) came to suss out where I was and inspected ICU with me…we even took a photo outside! Eventually they all left, I told Malcolm it was OK he didn’t need to come in the next morning, he could go to work as normal and Mr Barnard would ring when he’d finished and if Malcolm left the office then by the time he got to the hospital I’d be out or recovery and awake!! (What was I thinking? I suspect my brain had edited to this version as a survival instinct!) Theo (youngest son) called me and I “Facetimed” him around my room…he later rang his dad to ask if I was on “something” as I was completely unconcerned and showing him the hospital like it was a hotel room I particularly liked! I cut off the conversation as I wanted to watch Part 2 of Silent Witness!!

I suspect the hospital had given me something, as reflected in a very calm diary entry “I’m in bed waiting to see what tomorrow will bring


I did sleep well, I did watch my silent witness and! I chatted to the night staff.

I was woken early by the staff and had a text from Malcolm saying..”I’m awake if you want me to come” I was slightly confused why he would be awake so early – still oblivious to the need for any angst for my “routine” operation. He did come and I was actually happy to see him..I was actually fairly happy with the world in general and walked down to theatre chatting – as usual!

I remember climbing on to the bed/trolley…I remember everyone was very very nice and gowned up and smiley…I remember nothing else after a little tap on the back of my hand …(must have been a heck of a powerful anaesthetic) …